tripping the life unbalanced

Monday, May 08, 2006

hell hath no fury

Like a three year-old who doesn't get her way.

My sweet loving little imp disappeared this weekend, and in her place was a demon spawn who wrecked havoc whenever I was around. We seemed to have entered the dreaded 'ole daughter-mommy war, and if this weekend was any taste of what was to come I am dreading the teen years.

We started off nicely enough with a morning at home gardening together on Saturday morning. I dropped Alice off at my brother and SIL's in the afternoon so I could get some peak hours in working by myself in the backyard. Matt was working all day, so that probably contributed to the mother-of-all meltdowns that we experienced later on. We try and spend good family time together on the weekends, but Matt has been working a lot of Saturdays and I think she is missing him.

Anyway, when I picked her up at my brother and SIL's later she went apeshit. And I MEAN apeshit people. She jumped on beds, hid behind bookcases, ran away from me while we were up on the rooftop of their condo, pushed all the buttons on the elevator. All things that alone are general preschool fun, but doing them all together in a crazy sucession of "no no NOOOOOOOO" made for a crazy spiral. We actually had to leave my brother and SIL's place before we had even eaten the lovely dinner they had prepared because Alice was just out of control. I tried everything I could think of - getting down to her level, asking her to stop, telling her why she had to stop, distracting her, removing her to a quieter place, and finally losing my cool and saying "fine! we are outta here!" In the car on the way home she kicked my seat the entire way and then threw herself on the ground in front of our house and yelled "you are NOT my best friend." Back at ya, missy.

Needless to say we had a calm down and a long talk and tears and the whole bit. And after we both fell asleep after all the drama, she awoke the next day only to have a repeat performance.

Her anger is definitely directed at me, and I know KNOW know that it's because I'm the one she wants to test most. Last night trying to get her up the stairs for a bath and book resulted into biting and spitting at me. Like a mad dog. And while I try to remind myself that she is only 3 years old I find myself responding to her sometimes as if she is a mature adult. I have to remember that this is another phase, one where she is trying to exert her independence from me and testing out our boundaries around each other. But goddamn. Can we please skip over this part?


  • Shit, I totally relate and Elby is only 18 months old. She has constant meltdowns and doesn't want to do anything I need her to do. Meltdowns in the tub, changing diapers, moving to a different activity, oh and just try to get her to leave the park without people thinking I'm abusing her. I'm so tired as I write this because we just got home from the infamous park walk.

    By the way, I'm going to tape something for Canadian television this Thursday. I'll let you know channel and time.

    By Blogger Stefanie, at 7:36 p.m.  

  • Oh, OUCH! Yuck.

    Josie has been having tantrums too, and at two they are mainly out of frustration and I get that. But it's so hard to work through them, especially if I"m not in top form. Take good care of yourself so you're in top form is my best assvice. And liquor. You can stash those mini-bottle you get at the LCBO around the house or in your purse for "emergencies".

    I'll throw one more thing out there - food allergy? We have a friend whose son reacts to a certain red dye in that same manner. Took them ages to figure it out. Did she eat anything new?

    By Blogger Marla, at 9:13 p.m.  

  • Delurking to express my complete sympathies. My daughter, who's two and a half, is prone to meltdowns and tantrums in general, but with me in particular everything gets ratcheted up several degrees. I too am fearing particularly tumultuous teenage years. Is there any correlation between a mother-daughter relationship in the toddler years and their relationship later on?

    By Blogger Suzanne, at 8:38 p.m.  

  • Hey Kate,

    Just wanted to tell you I'm going to be on Canadian TV (CDC) channel 26 for you at 1:45 my time live. Check it out beeyotch.

    By Blogger Stefanie, at 11:27 a.m.  

  • Okay, sorry, I meant CBC.

    By Blogger Stefanie, at 11:30 a.m.  

  • As grandmother to the demon, I will say in her defense - this too shall pass. Although I agree that it would be great if we could just close our eyes and wake up to a mature 20 year-old who is loving, and respectful and fun......
    Unfortunately they don't get that way unless you perservere through the shit.
    Given what I have now in my 4 wonderfully mature, loving, fun brood, I must have shovelled a ton of the stuff back in the day. If nothing else, these episodic weird-outs do provide great reading for grandmas!

    By Anonymous Pat, at 9:23 a.m.  

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