building the village

I have always had close female friendships. From early best friendships in grade school to a long lasting relationship that continues today, I definitely seek out the girls in the room. I have gone through my share of the ups and downs of having girlfriends - the constant giggling to the cat fights to the dramatic breakdowns - and I have at times cursed the psychological warfare that seems to go hand-in-hand with female friendship. But for the most part, I prefer to hang with the ladies.

When I became a mom, I found many of my previous friendships falling by the wayside. It was a fault on both sides - some friends found it hard to relate to my new life of early nights and all-night boob feedings, and I isolated myself instead of reaching out to some old friends. I found myself instead approaching other new moms in the park across the street from my house (I actually accosted one new mom by saying "hey! You have a baby and so do I! We should be friends!") Slowly by surely I built up a new network of friends who were mommies, and was able to navigate between my old self and my new self more comfortably. Some old friendships died and were never to be the same again, while others resurfaced and were rebuilt by something entirely new.

When I first started blogging, I had no idea that I would be meeting the next group of important female friends in my life. I thought it was just a good way to document Alice's early years and work out my feelings as a new parent. It didn't take me long, though, to see the emotional connections mommy bloggers made online. Blogging is like the updated version of talking over your back fence to your neighbour - you swap parenting nightmares and strategies, offer and receive support, and generally just chat your way around your life. It was through blogging that I learned the true meaning of that old African (and somewhat overused) proverb "it takes a village to raise a child." The village of mommies I have found through this blog has truly inspired me. This is the village I come to when I need to giggle or purge or snark or learn or generally feel comfortable in my new skin. Because, it also takes a village to raise a mommy - a healthy, happy, and well-adjusted mommy.

So big big love and thanks to my new village of friends I've been hanging out with in real life - Scarbie, Marla, and most recently T.O. Mama, You rock my world, and you rock it big.