tripping the life unbalanced

Monday, April 10, 2006

building the village

I have always had close female friendships. From early best friendships in grade school to a long lasting relationship that continues today, I definitely seek out the girls in the room. I have gone through my share of the ups and downs of having girlfriends - the constant giggling to the cat fights to the dramatic breakdowns - and I have at times cursed the psychological warfare that seems to go hand-in-hand with female friendship. But for the most part, I prefer to hang with the ladies.

When I became a mom, I found many of my previous friendships falling by the wayside. It was a fault on both sides - some friends found it hard to relate to my new life of early nights and all-night boob feedings, and I isolated myself instead of reaching out to some old friends. I found myself instead approaching other new moms in the park across the street from my house (I actually accosted one new mom by saying "hey! You have a baby and so do I! We should be friends!") Slowly by surely I built up a new network of friends who were mommies, and was able to navigate between my old self and my new self more comfortably. Some old friendships died and were never to be the same again, while others resurfaced and were rebuilt by something entirely new.

When I first started blogging, I had no idea that I would be meeting the next group of important female friends in my life. I thought it was just a good way to document Alice's early years and work out my feelings as a new parent. It didn't take me long, though, to see the emotional connections mommy bloggers made online. Blogging is like the updated version of talking over your back fence to your neighbour - you swap parenting nightmares and strategies, offer and receive support, and generally just chat your way around your life. It was through blogging that I learned the true meaning of that old African (and somewhat overused) proverb "it takes a village to raise a child." The village of mommies I have found through this blog has truly inspired me. This is the village I come to when I need to giggle or purge or snark or learn or generally feel comfortable in my new skin. Because, it also takes a village to raise a mommy - a healthy, happy, and well-adjusted mommy.

So big big love and thanks to my new village of friends I've been hanging out with in real life - Scarbie, Marla, and most recently T.O. Mama, You rock my world, and you rock it big.


  • I totally feel the same way.


    By Blogger tomama, at 1:28 p.m.  

  • God I want to live in Canada with you and Scarbie and no George Bush. Come kidnap me. I'll be your friend.

    By Blogger Stefanie, at 4:17 p.m.  

  • Oh, sniffle.

    World-rockin', one blogging mommy at a time,


    By Blogger Marla, at 4:38 p.m.  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Jackie, at 9:28 p.m.  

  • Once again, you have me wishing I was a Canadian. Or at least living there, anyway. Sigh. Great post; it really struck a chord with me. There are so many negative connotations associated with female groups; however, I firmly believe the positive ones far outweigh them. Women rock.

    By Blogger Jackie, at 9:30 p.m.  

  • One of the things I love most about having a blog, besides the great connections I've made:

    Not feeling guilty about not being a 'scrapbooking momma.' I feel this is the best snapshot of my family's life.

    By Anonymous sweatpantsmom, at 1:43 a.m.  

  • Kate, I miss you and love you and am so thankful that you are doing this blog. It's honest and smart and has made me laugh/cry out loud.
    Your doing an awesome job with Alice. How cool will it be for her to read all this shit when she's older???

    From a good old "not yet mommy" sista!!!

    By Anonymous Allana, at 10:48 p.m.  

  • OMG What was the removed comment. Email me please!

    By Blogger tomama, at 2:26 p.m.  

  • It's an honour to be part of your village. And to be able to make you laugh while I manipulate your daughter into eating a kebab.

    "Oh, you guys all remember when you had your first kebab, don't you? Come on Alice, try it. All the big girls love it!"

    Alice tries it.

    "Did you like it Alice?"

    Alice looks at me with a face that says Hmmm, not so much, but I don't want to disappoint you. Nor do I want to seem not grown-up. "It was a little bit spicthy."

    I think I'm in love.

    By Blogger scarbie doll, at 10:00 a.m.  

  • Delurking to say great post!
    I feel the same way about the friendships I've made via blogging. It's been an unexpected bonus. Totally. :)

    By Anonymous andrea from the fishbowl, at 11:47 a.m.  

  • That's it. I'm moving to Toronto. All the fun moms live there.

    By Blogger Ann D, at 11:14 a.m.  

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