it's about time

I'm so tired today. I think I got a total of about 10 hours of sleep between Saturday and today. Why is this you ask? Because Matt and I engaged in what can only be called Fight Fest 2006. The reason? TIME. Free time. Work time. I need time off. You need time off. It's time to leave. It's time for me to go out. What time are we leaving? Why does it feel I never have time to myself? And on and on and on. You get the picture.

Before we had Alice, time was already an issue for us. We are on different ends of the time spectrum - he likes life to go slowly and I like things fast. I annoy him with my jumping from subject to subject, and he equally annoys me with his agonizingly slow pace. He needs free time on his own and I need him to respect my need for the same. Usually we can laugh about these differences between us, and usually we remember that it is this very difference that means we can stand to live together day in and day out. But then sometimes the issue itself rears its ugly head, like it did this weekend.

Since we had Alice, we have had to learn to adjust the way we see time, as all other parents. Before all else comes Alice and her need for our time. And for the most part, we can deal with this quite well. But add to the mix that Matt and I are both self-employed and the fact that both of us need extra time sometimes on our respective businesses, and you can get a battle over free time. Also add to that mix miscommunication problems and the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day and you get Fight Fest 2006. Which basically included a lot of sentences that started with "do you not get how I feel?" and "I was just saying..." and a lot of hushed swearing in the kitchen so our 3 year old can't hear us. It's been brewing for awhile - we've been dancing around this issue of free time for awhile now and haven't had a full-out brawl in some time.

We haven't completely recovered from everything that was said on the weekend, and we both seem to be treading a little softly around each other right now. I'm sure things will be resolved soon, it's just so tiring in the meantime. I think both of us want to just be done with the fight and move on. But we're both a little stubborn in that respect and will hold out until we feel like the other person understands our respective points. Until then, though, time is standing still over here and I would like it to move forward. Now please.