Dear Holiday Season,

You came and went so quickly this year, that I hardly had a minute to enjoy you. Or revile you. Between Alice getting sick and Alice going apeshit with cabin fever, I had few moments to reflect on your lessons and wisdom this year. Let's reflect now, should we?

WHAT I LEARNED FROM CHRISTMAS, 2005:

1. A toddler can truly understand and revel in the joys of consumerism mixed with anticipation and talk non-stop about Santa for days on end. Said toddler can spend the days of the season leading up the 25th singing RUDOPLH nonstop and putting out a carrot for two weeks before the big night.
2. The same toddler can wake up on Christmas Day, go downstairs to the promised land, and with her parents eager to catch that expression of pure joy with camera in hand, can turn around, shrug, and say without any excitement "I have a cold".
3. It is entirely possible to get a nap in on Christmas Day if you throw family out of your house, medicate your child with Benelyn, and lock your bedroom door.
4. Despite your best intentions at snarkiness and posturing, you can truly manage to feel grateful and thankful at Christmas dinner while you look around the room at the 40 members of your family who have gathered.
5. That feeling can quickly turn to exasperation as your toddler starts licking the giant closet mirror and covering it in snot.
6. Christmas-based movies and specials really lose their appeal to grownups after the 25th, but not to toddlers who insist that RUDOLPH must be on that damn tv somewhere.
7. Daytime tv can be awesome if a) your toddler returns to daycare after days of being home b) you stay in your robe all day and c) you surround yourself with leftover holiday chocolate.
8. Feminists can buy Barbies for their daughters and only have nightmares of Gloria Steinam raging for the first few nights.
9. Presents that include a new set of pots, a new cutting board, and new juice glasses can really rock your world.
10. The best present of all is a sleepy toddler holding your face in hers and telling you "you are my best friend". You will hold this moment in your memory for years to come, when she begins hating your guts.

So thanks again, Holiday Season. For pushing me face first into 2006 with a chuckle and a grimace, and reminding me how lucky I am to be surrounded by those who love me. And how I can never escape, even if I wanted to....